lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
