so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
