i barfeds in our rink
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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