New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
