I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
