I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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