Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
