It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
