I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
