so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
