I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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