How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
