take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize