just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
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I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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