I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
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I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize