He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
