Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
