no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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