Michael Bay diarrhea
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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