Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I supernannyed him into submission
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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