Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
