Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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