oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
