Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
