I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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