therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
