I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
