I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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