i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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