I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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