I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
