Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
