Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
