i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
