I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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