you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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