Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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