A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
