I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
