sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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