Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
