then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
