Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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