it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
