My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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