Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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