i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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