Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
