i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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