After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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