I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
