Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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