I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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