I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
