If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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