well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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