Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
