Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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