Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
