Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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