it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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