Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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